This Opinion article is part of a Narcity content series. The views expressed are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Vancouver doesn’t have a sterling reputation for being a warm, friendly, open city. Quite the opposite, in fact. A quick look at the r/vancouver subreddit on any given day will find threads dedicated to how aloof the overall vibe is and how distant its citizens are.
As someone who was born and raised here, even I have to concur. In fact, I’ll be perfectly honest and declare that I am one of those people.
It would never occur to me to strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger on public transit, chat with the person standing behind me in line at No Frills, or even acknowledge the dog-walking couple passing by me on the sidewalk. It’s just not what we do here. A quick glance at everyone’s facial expressions shows that residents of Vancouver generally look placid at the best of times and utterly glum during the worst of times (and don’t even get me started on our body language during our infamous downpours).
I’ve asked friends of mine why they think this is so, as even a hop over to Vancouver Island or a quick trip to the province’s interior seems to boast far friendlier, warmer folks. But they couldn’t say much apart from “Everyone’s stressed out.”
I don’t think anyone here feels a greater degree of stress than in other countries. Inflation and the cost of living have affected nearly every major city around the world, and everybody’s feeling it. Besides, it’s legendarily beautiful here in Terminal City, it’s generally very safe, and we have access to some of the best cuisines in the world. I guess it’s just a characteristic of Vancouver citizens to be polite and slightly aloof.
Perhaps the one bonding event that spontaneously connected us all together was when The Barge washed ashore at Sunset Beach back in November 2021 and stayed put for an entire year. It simultaneously became an eyesore, a conversation piece and a tourist destination.
Overall, while it’s a lovely place to live in and enjoy, we Vancouverites mind our own business in a very real way, and outward expressions of warmth simply aren’t our modus operandi. So imagine my shock, confusion and alarm when an older-looking gentleman walked past me on my street last weekend, made eye contact, flashed me a kind smile and wished me a good morning.
Nothing has thrown me off quite like that tiny sequence of events. Not in a very long while.
I was so startled that I let out a nervous, barking laugh and stumbled over my reply of “Morning!” It was as though I were in a theatre, suddenly placed onstage in front of a thousand judgmental patrons, expected to improvise a flawless monologue without preparation. A stranger smiling at me? And wishing me well? What on earth does one do in this situation?
Now, I’m not saying that everyone in Vancouver is emotionally insular. For example, we have a number of international students who have come here to study English and enjoy the Pacific Northwest.
Having taught ESL for several years myself, it is incredibly easy for me to spot international students in the wild: They are the ones you see hanging out together in groups, laughing, talking, clearly enjoying themselves and taking photos of the sort of everyday sights that the rest of us take for granted. A Skytrain station! A cherry blossom tree! The farmer’s market! The rainbow-painted crosswalk! Their enthusiasm and joy at just being here in Vancouver is obvious but generally not infectious. At least, not yet.
We also have a large number of immigrants and Canadian transplants here, many of whom come from places where tighter-knit communities and interacting with strangers are the norm. Therefore, perhaps, they tend to be slightly more outgoing, more prone to overtly kind gestures and more comfortable publicly acknowledging and addressing others. I’ve had many experiences taking the Skytrain with a newcomer seated next to me, and they have no problems complimenting my jacket or laughing at the offensive smell of someone’s greasy bag of fast food. It’s nice, it’s human, and it’s comforting.
While this is my hometown, and I’m very proud to live here, I acknowledge that Vancouver has its challenges, particularly when it comes to issues of addiction and mental health. There are quite a few individuals in the urban centre who struggle daily with these challenges, and on a handful of occasions, their behaviours have negatively affected civilians who are simply trying to go about their business.
Since people here are, on the whole, relatively low-key and modest, having our day-to-day affairs interrupted (or even threatened) actually makes the evening news. As a result, Vancouverites seem to keep to themselves even more, regarding any attention or outward displays of emotion as something to be suspicious of.
So what about the lovely gentleman who, unprompted, grinned at me and wished me well? This simply does not happen here. I thought about it for quite some time afterwards and concluded that he was not allowing external stressors or life difficulties to prevent him from maintaining a sense of civility, community and kindness. He had decided that morning — or perhaps he lives his life this way in general — that he would share a smile with a perfect stranger (maybe I looked as though I needed one?) and greet them with genuine friendliness. I also have a feeling that if I’d asked him for a hug, he would have given me one without hesitation.
But perhaps the most shocking part of all was that the foreign feeling of public warmth I experienced for the rest of the day elevated me to the point where I actually found myself making eye contact with other passers-by and flashing them a small smile. The effect was immediate and unanimous: 100% of the people I smiled at gave me one in return, accompanied by a brief expression of happy surprise.
Vancouver is a city that might seem unfriendly and cold, but this is assuredly not the case. Maybe start by smiling at someone you walk past, or even wishing them well. You’ll be surprised at how this can positively change someone’s day. Let’s go for a domino effect!
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